Do you remember? It was 21st of August and i'm at Macdonald and it has been half a year since i talk to you and then you text me. It was 9+. I remember exactly what happened, i bet you don't. I was very happy the whole day but when you text me, questions kept lingering in my head, distracting me from being okay. As i walk home, we text each other. And indeed i was very happy, because you came back into my life. And surprisingly, you came back at the same month you did when i first met you. We got along as friends but as day passed you became more mushier and mushier. Remember when one day i was otw to school, we were texting as usual and you called me 'syg'. I admit that i blushed. And that's where you started. Yes, only you. And you started to us the ii & uu language. It was before literature and after recess you asked if i'm okay with you talking to me in that language. I said i'm cool with it. And it goes on. Remember when my phone got confiscated, when you're not texting with me? And you asked who i was texting with, and i said adelah and you got jealous? Remember when we challenged each other who ate faster after "breakfast"(it was during Ramadhan) and teased each other? Remember when i was at pasir ris, and you were there too. And you were so desperate to see me. Remember when my phone battery went low, and i secretly used my sister's phone to text you. You were waiting for me to come back home just to hear my voice. Remember when we fought with each other because you were just too stubborn to let me let you sleep first. And i fell asleep while on the phone with you. But then i woke up, and you slept. Remember when i told you you called me at 4am? You said it wasn't you and maybe you sat on your phone. I can imagine how you are sleeping, very cute! Remember when you used your psp and i'm on laptop, stalking your brother on tumblr? Remember when i just put down the phone without saying something that you expected me to say, and i called you back just to say that? Remember when you send me a super duper long message with full of the ":-*" emoticons and i love you's? Remember when you spammed me with messages, when i was having my cca. And when you were having yours, i spammed yours too. And instead your friend is the one who replied me. Paiseh please. Remember when i cried because of my maths result, which is 14% and when i said i was okay you knew i was lying and immediately called me? Remember when it's school time(but i didn't go to school) you called me just to inform me your battery went low, and that moment i was too sleepy to know who i am talking to, and then you text me and i just realized it was you. Remember when you planned to meet me? You said you wanted to bring me go out, to watch a movie, bowling and ice skating? And i was like noooo not ice skating wtf. And after that you said you want to bring me to a candle light dinner, maybe at fish & co. Remember those moments when we were so madly in love over each other? We promised each other so many things. Yet alot of them are either broken or undone. I miss you, i miss you so much. I always wanted you to leave, and at the same time when you do. I miss you so fucking much i want you to come back. I know i'm just you "ex-contact" or a spare tyre. I know you still do love her, right? If you don't. You wouldn't wish her your 15 months. You wouldn't even be counting. I feel so stupid and helpless. You know what? I feel so fucking insecure whenever i'm with you, but i wanna fucking be with you. Everytime. You know why am i insecure? Cause i'm nowhere near perfect. I'm nowhere near your standard. I suck, i fucking suck. I'm fucking ugly. I'm fat. Yes. I'm fucking insecure when i'm around you but i don't understand why i still want you. I fucking hate myself for this. I want to stop, i want to end this feeling. I wish i never knew you.
